Julie Delpy vs. Adam Goldberg in Two Days in Paris. Both are adorably crazy. Not sure who would win the toss up here. He’s got the market cornered on hot neurotic Jew. She’s got the whole fuckable and French thing going on.
Jason Bateman is the personification of the polar opposite of meth face. Take note youngins, this is what happens when you don’t spend your youth snorting blow at Ricky Schroeder’s place.
You think you can handle this? You can’t handle this. She once fucked a pigeon on a dare. With herself. She uses wine stoppers as butt plugs. And vice versa. If she wanted to, she could fuck the black out of Stanley.
For all those times your bean flicking fantasies involved getting breathless with the most powerful man on the planet. Now there’s even more justification.
Seriously, Charlie Runkle must be out of his damn mind wanting to divorce Cokey Smurf. She is the living, breathing, snorting definition of HOT MESS.
No, seriously. Hear me out. The way I see it, Data was basically a walking sex toy. It was hinted at more than once that he was anatomically correct, “fully functional”, and had been “engaged by” unspecified female members of the crew. Plus, he had no inhibitions or sense of shame (so long as his emotion chip was disengaged), so you could ask him to whatever freaky, kinky thing that you desired.
Like pulling a train with Picard and Number One.
Remember when you called Paris Hilton a “piece of shit”? That was not the first time slickiness ensued because of something you said.
WHY WON’T YOU LET ME HOLD YOU?
Dear Puck,
I so wanted to like you. You and your loose cannon ways were so attractive in my 9th grade pre-formative mind. But then you turned out to be a total retard whose only charm was shooting fluids out of different parts of your body. And I’m sure when the camera was off you were probably grabbing Pedro Zamora’s face and farting into his mouth. I think you had a secret crush on him. Anyway, you’ll probably turn up on an upcoming season of Celebrity Rehab. I look forward to seeing you then.
Sincerely,
Dreaming of you during Algebra 1
how the slicky party sausage gets made: horatio sanz edition
- Foxy Teen 13: Ahaha "reverse cowgirl" was too smutty?
- Cockmaster: Noooo! we need just one animal reference. ah this is going to get so porny.BUT YES!! BACKWARDS BONE ALL THE BLOATED DUDES YOU WANT!!
